What an emotional roller coaster!

So I thought that it was a good time for a new blog post. Many thoughts and considerations have been running through my mind, after my trip back to Moorestown, and I feel like now is a good time to finally get it on paper.

It was with mixed feelings, that I boarded the plane to Copenhagen that day, and never have I experienced such an emotionally hard journey. I felt like my stomach was exploding and my head was spinning, like I was placed in the craziest ride in the amusement park. I was alone. All by myself, I had to conquer the fear of losing people that I love and care so much about. When the plane took off, I could do nothing but think about all the amazing times and experiences I have had with all of you amazing people, and in your amazing country.

            

Its really hard for me to explain how I feel, not because I don’t want to, but because there are so much going on inside, that I wouldn’t know where to start and where to stop. I am in such a big emotional dilemma, and have been ever since I came home from my exchange in June. I have two homes now, but how am I supposed to deal with that, when one of the homes is many thousands kilometres away? I am trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while I’m trying to figure out what I have to leave behind.  I am trying really hard to stay focused, but my thoughts constantly get stuck on Moorestown and Moorestown High. One minute I love Denmark, and couldn’t think of a better place to be, but then the next minute I can burst down in tears just because I miss America so much. In just weeks I had to dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each everyone close. And somehow, in some way, I had to find my place between these two worlds.

          

Right after I came home from my exchange, I was certain that I never would move to America again, but only come home for visits. That certainty is now changed to a definite consideration. One thing I am certain about though, is that I’m going to do whatever is best for me, and feels right, so if moving to America is the best for me, then that is what I’m going to do when it’s a good time for that.  

            

There is one thing that has been going on my mind though. It’s a big issue for me as well, and a thing that I have been thinking a lot about. Earlier in my blog posts and vlogs, I have talked about sliding apart, and loosing contact with my friends in Moorestown. Not necessarily that it’s happening a lot, but I’m scared of it to happen, and I really don’t want it to. It’s extremely hard for me to barely hear anything from you guys; at least on you’re on own initiative. I’ll try, and I really have tried to keep the contact and message as many as possible the last months, but I can only do so much, unfortunately. When I came back to visit, I saw so many smiley faces and I got so many hugs, and it was absolutely amazing to see everyone, and to see that it’s not because you don’t want to talk, but just because … well I don’t know, but that doesn’t really matter. The thing that matters for me is to know that you still care.  Of course you don’t have to, but you have no idea how much it would mean to me, to receive a message some day, or just anything like that.

            

I think I’m going to stop here, before it gets way to long, and of course if you have been following the blog you’ll know, that I easily could write pages after pages about my feelings after and about my exchange. If you would spend just 30 seconds, commenting this post, messaging me or anything like that telling me if you all would like to keep following the blog and read about everything, it would be amazing! Thank you so much for reading along :)

Lots of love, Emma 

Here are just some pictures, showing some of my best memories :)

Vlog - Update from my trip back to Moorestown

My first vlog! :-)

So i decided to make a vlog about my thoughts on my exchange-year so .. take a look :)

Dear everyone, Part II

Some of you might have seen me walking around Moorestown, and thought - "what is that girl doing? walking?! Oh shes the new girl! Thats so weird .." Or at least something like that, haha. The truth is. I walked because that was one of my only ways to feel free. I was i charge of where I wanted to walk, how long i wanted to walk and for how long time. I could easily feel trapped just laying in my room, or being in school or something - not because people where mean, not nice or anything like that, but just because people had a different way to live form what i was used to. So i walked. You should try it some day - turn on the music, start walking with no limits, and just feel alive.

I cant believe that all my friends who were seniors are not there anymore. Well you probably still live in Moorestown when you are home from college, but you wont be there when I come back, so just everyone from the class of 2012 - thank you for being you :)

This last year, has been amazing in every way. I stayed at loving, warm family - got some AMAZING new friends, and experienced so much more than I could ever imagine. I think I have written about that before, but now when im finally blogging and reflecting, I think it needs a spot in my post. I went to New York, California, Ohio, Philly, The shore and so many amazing places! I got to experience pep rally, prom, valentine, halloween, MHS musical and so many more so american things, that I would never ever have got to experience it if had not been for my exchange.

This blog is like my life. My life in that way, that my exchange year was like a life in a year, and this blog and the memories is what I have left. Read through the blog, and you'll get to know me.

I often wonder if I did enough - enough for people to care. Enough for people to remember me. Do you guys still talk about me? Still think about me? Still care? I mean, I cant make you - but if you do, that means I must have done something right, right? At least I hope you do ... that would be amazing, but at least I do about you :)

Sorry I might seem like very emotional or something like that, but it's actually really hard. Harder than I expected. Not that I walk around sad all the time cause I dont, because most of the time all the memories makes me smile. But it scares me to think about that its over. Im scared that i'll slowly forget the experiences. The small everyday things I did and saw. The faces. The names. That right there - scares the hell out of me.

Anna. Zara. Gianna. Tina. Bri. Valeria. Brittany. Rachel & Rachel & Rachel. Carly. Natalie. Pat & Pat. Allie. Lauren. Brett. Zach & Zach. Emily & Emily. Konsta. Jack. Emma & Emma. NaNa. Alex. Steven. Nicole. Shannon. Alexandra. Timmy. Amanda. Dave. Delaney. Haley. John. Mary. Jessica. Pete. Gracie. Sharyn. Zee. Krista. Amy. Sydney. Kayla. Margaret. Arianna. Anthony. Mariah, Austin. Jess & Jess. Brandon. Ashley. - now when im 90, i'll still remember every single name, haha. And SO sorry to the people I might forgot, but common for all these names and the people behind those names are that you all in some way affected my year (in a good way). Some of you I talked more to than others, some I didnt know for long, some I didnt talk to anymore in the end of my stay, some I didnt really get to say goodbye to, some were my best friends, but you all made me smile and made me feel like i fitted in in some way and in some point of my year. So thank you for that! It means a lot and cant wait to see you all again :)

To be continued ..

Dear everyone,

Sorry my blog has been so silent since my last post. It's really really hard for me to accept that my exchange is over, and it feels like that the blog is and was my only way to keep it going, and keep all the experiences etc. Coming home was amazing to me, and seeing my family and friends again was just like a dream. On the other hand, seeing my family and Denmark again was also the official ending of another dream - my exchange year. It's was hard to take in everything, and it absolutely still is. All the memories and people that now only "was". I mean .. they are all of course still in my head, but its not the same as living in it. I remember so many small details, but it feels like it was only a dream. Luckily I have a lot of pictures and videos from the year, and i'm serious when I say that theres not one single day passing by where I don't look at some of the pictures, look through my blog, look at some of the videos or just take some time to think about Moorestown. I miss it. I miss it a lot. I especially miss all the people. Even though I didn't get to know everyone, i definitely did my best to talk to as many as possible, and I miss everyone of you.

My life in Denmark is extremely different from my life in Moorestown, and i really learned to appreciate Denmark a lot more after my return home. It was also amazing to finally be able to relax - to not be the new girl in town and knowing where and how to fit in. Its hard to really compare the two lifes, and I wont because that would not be fair - but I definitely love them both.

Im coming back to Moorestown in october, and I cant describe how excited I am. Im gonna see you all again, and this time im bringing my brother. We will only be there for about a week, and I think it's gonna be one of the best and hardest weeks of my life. Im sure you know why it's gonna be of the best ... but its also gonna be one of the worst, because this time im probably, but hopefully not, saying goodbye to most of you. I dont know when and if im coming back to Moorestown - and if I am, if its in time to see my class. Class of 2013. Not that I dont have friends in the other classes .. some of my best friends were class of 2014, but of course my class will always be special. When i left Moorestown in june, I knew that I was coming back in october, so I "only" had to say goodbye to all the seniors I knew, but yea .. this time I dont know, and its gonna be so extremely hard. And its important that you all know how important you are to me. If you were one of my best friends, or one I just saw and smiled at in the hallways - you will always have a very special spot in my heart, and I miss you all so so much.  I will stop this post before it gets to long, but ill definitely try to post some more soon, and after and during my trip to Moorestown in october. And .. if anyone  have a comment, question or anything else, you are more than welcome to comment this post, or contact me on facebook or anything! :)

I attached a video of my return to Denmark - its the video of me seeing my family and friends again for the first time in a year. Very special. Sorry I look like **** - but had been traveling alone for 24 hours.

Bless you all. Love,
Emma Oline "Denmark" Skou

Graduation ceremony

Igår var jeg til graduation ceremonien. Da jeg er junior, kan jeg desværre ikke graduate, men jeg har en masse senior venner + jeg ville gerne se hvordan det hele foregik, så jeg tog derhen alligevel! Heldigvis mødte jeg min gode veninde Zara og hendes familie som jeg kender rigtig godt, så jeg sad sammen med dem. Zaras storebror, som jeg også kender, skulle graduate, så det var ekstra hyggeligt!

Det hele startede omkring kl. halv 7, hvor alle seniors (ca.350) skulle gå ind I en lang række og sætte sig på deres plads, men deres "walk" er nærmest en hel event i sig selv hvor bander spiller musik og folk tager billeder og klapper osv. osv. Da alle havde sat sig begyndte talerne. Der var i alt 4 taler fra elever, 4 små taler fra class officers (lidt ligesom elevråd - bare meget bedre!) og så var der taler fra 2-3 voksne. Inden de kunne begynde at give diplomer skulle de dog lige igennem en rigtig sørgelig ting. En af pigerne i seniorklassen var i et biluheld i sidste uge og ligger i koma nu, og man ved ikke om hun vågner, og hvis hun gør bliver hun lam fra halsen og ned. Jeg kender hende ikke personligt, men havde godt hørt om det. Men hvert fald havde vi lige et øjebliks stilhed for at ære hende, hvorefter the principal gik ned og gav hendes familie hendes diplom. Derefter begyndte resten af eleverne at få deres diplom. Det tog lidt tid, eftersom der som sagt var ca. 350 seniors. Da alle diplomerne var blevet givet ud, kom en af drengene op på scenen og startede "the rollercoaster". Til dem af jer der har fulgt bloggen, og set videoerne fra pep rally, så var det der hvor seniors legene at de var på en rutschebane og en af drengene "styrede" dem og hvilken retning osv. og så da de så gjorde det igår legede han at rutschebanen gik i stå og så efter 5 sek kastede han sin cap, hvorefter hele class of 2012 gjorde det samme. Fulstændig ligesom på film! I kan se det hele i videoerne og billederne forneden :-)

The last days

I am no longer a Moorestown High School student. I am almost not an exchangestudent anymore. Soon i wont be the "foreign girl" og simply just known by the name "Denmark". Soon i will be home. Soon i will leave all my amazing american friends. I could keep on going, but i think you all got the point. I'm in the middle of my last days as an exchangestudent and it's extremely bittersweet. I cant believe that i'm actually gonna see my family in nothing but 4 days after being away from them for 10 months, and I cant believe that I'm going home to my beloved native country of Denmark. I can't describe how excited I am, and how happy the thought makes me. At the same time, i can't believe that I have to leave all the absolutly amazing people and moorestown and all of my new american friends. This year has been a rollercoaster, but definitly one of my all time favourite rides ever. I'm forever gratefull for the people who made this experience possible for me, and for the people who made this year what it has been for me. I knew already from the beginning that I just needed to come back, which is why I'll be back in Moorestown already october 2012. I hope to see all of you! To the MHS students who read this - I hope you will have an amazing summer, and that you wont forget about me! Even if I didnt really talk to you, you are all a part of my American dream! I'll never forget about you guys, and i cant wait to see you again sometime soon. And if you have any comments for me or my blog or anything you are more than welcome to post them in the comment section :-)

My last days I have spend on saying goodbye to people and attend graduation parties etc. etc. - so here is just some random pictures from the last couple of days. And as that say - "Exchange is'nt a year in your life, it's a life in a year"